Trapped In The Margins

There is a part of me that longs for Siena, Italy especially since I am in another foreign country just weeks after leaving. I left Italy on December 28th and arrived in New York during the early hours of December 29th. I had six days at home before I hopped on a plane to South America. I really had no time to reflect on my experiences in Siena before I was thrown into a new and different culture. 

Siena will always mean the world to me because it was my home when things weren’t going so well in New York. My host mom was neurotic but I came to love her regardless of her neuroses. She did not force me to be somebody that I wasn’t because she knew that I was dealing with the death of a family friend. She let me live my life and I appreciate her so much for that. 

I met some pretty interesting people and even made a few friends. My closest friend is somebody that I never expected to become my friend. Dare I say, best friend. This woman gives me the truth, straight no filter. She constantly checked my negativity which I know is no easy task. She helped provide a different perspective when I was stuck in one frame of thinking.  But again, she let me be me and for that I am grateful. She taught me the value of friendship. I hope that I can continue to be a better friend in the future because of her.

I’ve learned a few lessons during my time in Siena including:

• Face your fears because you’re stronger than you think you are
• It’s okay to stand your ground. 
• Constant negativity is never a good thing. Stop talking if you’re the source of it.
• Know that what you perceive as being helpful can actually be harmful to the person that you’re trying to help
• Learn from your mistakes
• Appreciate the moment because soon it will become a memory
• Don’t be so hard on yourself. You do the best you can with the information that you had at the time.

The last lesson is what my host mom Giovanna constantly repeated to me in Italian. The translation is:

“Don’t look back, look forward. Life is not meant to be lived in the past. Keep moving forward because life goes on. It’s meant to be lived in only one direction.”

I am unwilling to close the book on Siena just yet so there may be some more posts about it.

But for now, ci vediamo Siena.