Trapped In The Margins

I am currently at the place in life where the lines between childhood and adulthood begin to blur. No, I am not in my adolescence. I am in my 20s. I argue that this time is as equally confusing and possibly more confusing than adolescence. Being in my 20s means that I am no longer afforded the luxury of being a “stupid kid.” I can no longer make those stupid mistakes that were once so easily forgiven. It’s infuriating to feel more in control of myself but I can no longer express this like I did in my teens because I work a 9 to 5. I cannot dye my hair blue and show up to work expecting my boss to pat me on the back or compliment my hair. I can expect to be fired for going against my company’s dress code.

My 20s have been a time of self-discovery, travel, and increasing responsibility. I pay taxes. How adult is that? I’ve lived in two foreign countries and I’m not even 25 yet. My life has taken some pretty unexpected turns but the best part of my life has been meeting people. I mentioned in a previous post that my life and job have given me the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life. Again, think “Humans of New York” but without pictures. I have some favorites from over the years but one of my favorite people is a woman who lived to be 102. Her name was Betty. Unfortunately, I received news today that Betty passed away in her sleep yesterday. It’s a sad day in my house but there are still some lessons to be learned from this wonderful woman.

Betty was born in December 1913. She was alive during several wars. She lived through the Great Depression in her native borough of Queens. She married a wonderful man and had three beautiful daughters. Her husband died when her daughters were in their teens so she had to enter the workforce in order to provide for her family. She worked tirelessly to provide for her daughters. They never forgot how hard their mother worked for them. I was able to meet Betty in 2011 when she was 98 years old. She was not the physical powerhouse she was once but she still had much to teach me. I saw her for the final time last August, months before her 102nd birthday. I will never forget the conversation that we had and the questions that she asked me.

The point of this post is to share that one’s 20s are a confusing time for everyone. Betty knew how difficult life was and how much has changed in her lifetime. She was aware that I was dealing with things that she would never have to deal with but also that some things never change. Betty asked me some pretty standard questions. I lied for most of my answers but her questions made me think. I couldn’t answer any of her questions honestly because I had been avoiding those questions for a long time. Betty got me to face my truth so now I am asking you to face yours.

So, are you ready to stop running from the truth?

Because I know that I am.