Trapped In The Margins

I’ve forgotten how it feels like to dream with my eyes closed
To place my head on a pillow and slowly drift off to a palace of dreams
To feel the overwhelming peace of drifting off to a time and place that’s quickly forgotten once I open my eyes
I’ve forgotten how it feels to be at peace with my thoughts, to truly be at rest.
And all of this, my love, is because of you.
You made every waking moment seem like a dream.
It was peaceful, warm, and sunny even on the darkest of days.
Nothing could take the smile off of my face.
Not gridlock traffic, a bad day at work, fights with my family or friends.
Nothing could bring me down, except you.
I was so consumed with my own happiness that I couldn’t see how your own smile had begun to fade.
The twinkle in your eyes began to dim.
Your boisterous laugh turn to a whisper and then complete silence.
You stopped calling or texting.
We met briefly or not at all.
I couldn’t understand why you were pulling away from me so I broke it off.
I didn’t see the immense pain that you were in and left you alone to tackle your demons.
I left you when you needed me the most.
The last thing you said was I hope you don’t lose sleep over me.
Now I fear that I may never know sleep again.

l.b.