Trapped In The Margins

January

Winter doesn’t feel the same anymore.

I miss the bitter cold Winters of my youth.

The ones where the cold would sink into one’s bones.

It physically hurt to breathe.

Those are the winters that I miss.

Because I could make an excuse for the tears in my eyes.

Tears of sadness, frustration, anger.

The one that I was about to give my entire life up for has lied to me once again.

I should have ended things before I sunk myself deeper into a lie.

I don’t know why I chose to protect him and not myself.

I guess this Winter does feel as bitter cold as my youth.

December

Months have passed since that first bitter winter.

This one seems so much milder.

A new love has walked into my life.

A love that’s humble, kind, and gentle.

A love that I have never experienced.

This Winter feels more like a cozy cabin fire.

Secured in the arms of someone I can truly trust.

The problem is that I don’t trust myself to not ruin it.

I cannot fuck this up.