Trapped In The Margins

Reeling from the stupidity of months wasted,
I continued to waste more time with people that wanted nothing to do with me.
All of these people floated in and out of my life like a revolving door.
I couldn’t keep up with the personalities.
It was truly exhausting.
Until John Doe popped up.
He had an air about him that compelled me to act rashly.
There was something about his smile that made me want to know more.
His smile said, “You will be next but you will never be my forever.”
I was desperate to prove him wrong.
But I fell hard into his trap.
Acting so unlike myself that I had to shower with burning hot water to wash away my sins.
I will never forget what he did to me.
Making me an accomplice in his twisted game.
Sending me things that I should have never seen and asking if I wanted to take part.
That was the final nail in the coffin of this doomed romance.
I called him for the last time and he offered his scraps of a situationship – good enough to lay with but not be seen with.
A random hotel in the Bronx.
The chance to be with another woman in front of him.
Begging on my knees.
Vying for his attention.
Making him the only one in control.
I politely declined and told him to hit me up when he’s back from California.
Blocking him immediately was my only saving grace.