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*Originally written 1/19/2023 I honor myself as a black woman I honor myself as a black person Who would I be if society did not tell me I were those people? Separating me from the communities that were created to protect and build, not alienate and destroy We were born to be resourceful and rely
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I was looking for a CD player that I used to own. It was my favorite color and I distinctly remember it having a radio function as well. I loved that stupid thing. I wanted to use it because I ordered a signed CD from one of my favorite musicians. I regret my choices and
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I don’t want your pain to be my pain. And I definitely don’t want my pain to be yours. Empathy is deadly. The burden of carrying two pains is too great a burden. Compassion is better. Boundaries are sexy.
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More pain than woman. Not so easy to dismiss. Feelings of regret Singed my damaged lips. Fear struck a cord So deep inside, I admit I never heard the tune it played But felt it was disjointed The damage flowed freely From one soul to the next Cycles of inadequacy Coupled with trauma Doubled by
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The people I love are shadows Because they no longer exist. They are trapped in my memory. Mere shadows of what they used to be. Thoughts of what was and what will never be. Fading with time as everything does. But the pain never really goes away.
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I’m not an architect but I keep making plans Hoping one day the world would fit in the palm of my hands Praying that one day I could make you mine But loving you is like watching the sun rise It’s beautiful and brilliant but it’s not only for me But honestly you’re the woman
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January Winter doesn’t feel the same anymore. I miss the bitter cold Winters of my youth. The ones where the cold would sink into one’s bones. It physically hurt to breathe. Those are the winters that I miss. Because I could make an excuse for the tears in my eyes. Tears of sadness, frustration, anger.
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I’ve been crying lately at the most seemingly random times. This healing journey is no joke. Did you know that you have to feel your feelings and not rationalize them away? I sure didn’t. Now, a wave of emotion hits me and I crumble where I stand. Feeling negative emotions after being hurt feels like
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Meeting you in a past life would have been a waste. The old versions of me would not be able to handle all of you. The way that you view the world is quite innocent. There’s still good in the world in your eyes. My heart has been worn down by disappointment. Straining to find
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Trapped In The Margins 