life
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Once trust is broken, it’s gone forever. I’m not really sorry, am I? It’s more like I’m sorry for myself. The repentant liar. Hoping that my penance will save me from damnation. (written May 14th, 2016)
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It’s a family affair. Welcome to the breakdown of consciousness. Too emotional. Not emotional enough. Ricochet from one extreme to the next. No middle ground. But caught in this in-between of two extremes. Where nothing and everything collide. The void never looked so good. (written May 7th, 2016)
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Running away never solved any problems. Then again, I was never one to confront them. It’s all I had. It’s who I was. Was. Past Tense. Who I am now is still being written. It’s not about the alignment of the stars Or three women with sewing needles and thread. It’s not being dictated by
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There is still a part of me that looks for you. This unconscious thinking seeps into my daily life. A part of me is still so full of you. The things you left with me have become a part of my routine. I fought so adamantly against you on so many things. Defiance was my
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“Wow, you’re so tall! Do you play basketball?” I wish that I could say that I never heard this but phrases like that plagued me as a child and continued into early adulthood. My childhood friends and I were used to these comments. I remember one year we actually tried out for basketball, after years
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A man said to me Memory stuff will haunt you I said, will it cease?
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I hear the church bell tolling. I hear school children screaming. It must be time t0 wake up. It can’t be morning already. I just went to sleep. I have this stupid grin on my face. This is new. It must be him. How can a conversation flow so smoothly? It was so effortless. It
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The sudden realization that the things in my life are connected may seem asinine to most but it’s the truth. There have been certain constants in my life that have followed me from my childhood into adulthood. The only thing that has really changed is the medium in which I do things. These constants include
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Focusing on the present was never my forte. I was too preoccupied by the past or the rapidly approaching future to focus on the present. I made excuses for my past mistakes while making plans for a better future. I was stuck in this dichotomy that was absolutely maddening. I felt lost in the moment.
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My online life and real life have been parallel for as long as I can remember. They were two streams that never met. Two roads that never intersected. But now, that time is over. My “secret” online life has been found for the most part and I am terrified. I am afraid of what this
Trapped In The Margins 
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