prose
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There is no denying it now. I’ve spent my entire life trying to live up to the ideal. My own personal superhero. I never believed that I was worthy to be her daughter. My anxiety has lied to me for as long as I can remember. Telling me that I was never good enough. But
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To be in a state of mind where you don’t want to die but you don’t want to live To traverse the line between life and death. Breathe in hate and exhale frustration. To be unsure of the future, afraid of the present, and haunted by the past. I don’t envy people in this state
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My heart feels like it’s an ocean away But it’s here tucked safely away in my chest That’s not entirely true. My generosity belongs to many. But my love is reserved for a select few.
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Patience was never my strong suit. Its virtue seemed to elude me. I wanted to escape my fate. Instead, I ran headfirst into it. I found you along the way. Or I should say, you found me. I still don’t understand why that happened. Maybe I never will. I keep writing to prove to myself
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My mother’s words echo in my head “Your love is strong, quick, and fleeting.” Scorned lovers whisper in my ear. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were a tease.”
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There’s a place that we share. One that I crave simply because. I long for its warmth. Those moments where the world melts away. And we’re left in its wake. It feels more like a dream. Caught between what’s real and what could be. That sacred space where we become one.
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Letting you know how I felt was the bravest decision I ever made. I’ll admit you took my breath away. I was one to play by the rules. But rules didn’t matter when I met you. Nothing mattered as long as I had you. Had you. Have you. A love I’ll never let go.
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Running in fear for so long I befriended this illusion It’s deeper than friendship It’s a toxic relationship I’ve pursued it Slept with it Become one with it We are practically inseparable But all things must come to an end I’ve spent so many years in this torrid affair Now I’m opting out.
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I am giving you something precious. It’s something that I can no longer hold on to. It’s my past pain. I give everything painful I held to the universe. It no longer serves me to live with that. I am leaving myself open. For the gift of creation.
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I started the year with a promise to myself. One I could only dare whisper because I feared that the walls would hear. I found the thing I needed to fulfill my deepest desire. But it crumbled as soon as I touched it. It quickly turned to dust. Rage built up in my body, bubbling
Trapped In The Margins 