recovery
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Today is the first anniversary of the Capitol riot. It’s also the one year anniversary of when I could have lost the person that means the most to me in this world. My life was completely different a year ago. I had been engaged for almost two months and I was recovering from an emergency
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I’ve been down this road too many times before. It never ends well. Crashing and burning. Those too close become collateral damage. Alcohol doesn’t burn like it used to. Pills don’t have the same effect. Choking on cigarette smoke. Finally something to replace the pain. This damned burden of existence. They say dying is easy.
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This is me on the precipice of the edge. Anxiety slowly creeping through my veins. Exhaustion reaching an all-time high. My eyes can barely open. The filter replicates an ethereal atmosphere. A person trapped in between dreaming and waking. This is me shutting myself off from “reality.” The views don’t matter. The likes don’t matter.
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recovery is a tricky word for me. it means that i am no longer the person that I was. isn’t this what I wanted? i don’t know who I am without my demons. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t battling something. what do I do without something to fight against? when does I
Trapped In The Margins 