relationships
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*This post was originally written on July 26th, 2021* Happiness has always eluded me. I always felt like I had to be more than who I was. I was never enough. I never felt pretty enough, smart enough, fast enough, talented enough. The opposite was also true. I was too much. I was too loud,
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Today is the first anniversary of the Capitol riot. It’s also the one year anniversary of when I could have lost the person that means the most to me in this world. My life was completely different a year ago. I had been engaged for almost two months and I was recovering from an emergency
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The perfect Sunday does exist. It’s me laying in bed listening to my person type away at the computer. The mouse clicks and keyboard clacks sound determined. It’s the perfect background noise coupled with the fan that hits ever so gently. Is this what peace feels like? I never got to experience a restful Sunday
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I guess I should have known that most of you would be unknown. To me, to strangers, but mostly to yourself. I’ve heard the phrase that we contain multitudes several times over the years. But it didn’t make sense until I met you. There are moments when I feel so close to you. So close
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What does it mean to be happy in love? I mean, truly happy. No asterisk. I’ve been asking myself that question for longer than I can remember. But then, you appeared. I can’t forget the day that we met because I was absolutely terrified. But then you looked at me. So shy and awkward. Your
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There’s strength in vulnerability that I never knew existed. Vulnerability was off limits for someone like me. The child of immigrants. Meant to withstand pain with a smile. Never show weakness, never let them see you bleed But survival mode has its limits. And I’ve reached mine. It’s time to let go of the past.
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Dating in 2021 should be a dream But it’s more like a nightmare…a dream deterred People have walked in and out of my life so quickly I should just install a revolving door Make it easier for them to leave. Yet each person teaches me something new I’m becoming better with each interaction Even the
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I have so much freedom now that we’ve severed ties. Ties that I thought would bind me to a world that divides. Divides that have split me open and scattered me across continents. My love is no longer tethered to one person for eternity. I’m opening myself to the possibilities. Who knew that a divorce
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Playing a dangerous game Where my greatest sacrifice is my life. I acted like the lamb being led to slaughter. Making men feel empowered. Using their rage to feel something. His hands around my neck. The pressure was too much. It ended before it even began. His facade began to crack. His aggression seeped through.
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It is a cruel thing. It speeds everything up. Everything becomes of utmost importance. There’s too much to think about Yet too little time. But you must act. Because everything falls apart when you don’t. But you can’t do anything. Paralyzed by fear. Tears become an ocean. Thoughts become heavy. Like cinder blocks tied to
Trapped In The Margins 