thoughts inside my head
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Running in fear for so long I befriended this illusion It’s deeper than friendship It’s a toxic relationship I’ve pursued it Slept with it Become one with it We are practically inseparable But all things must come to an end I’ve spent so many years in this torrid affair Now I’m opting out.
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I am giving you something precious. It’s something that I can no longer hold on to. It’s my past pain. I give everything painful I held to the universe. It no longer serves me to live with that. I am leaving myself open. For the gift of creation.
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I started the year with a promise to myself. One I could only dare whisper because I feared that the walls would hear. I found the thing I needed to fulfill my deepest desire. But it crumbled as soon as I touched it. It quickly turned to dust. Rage built up in my body, bubbling…
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I’ll be honest for the very first time There’s a part of me that feels like it would die Without the breath of life that you give me I wish I could inject it into my veins I wish that there were pills to pass the days Until I could see you again. I’ve tried…
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I’m sorry, my dear. There are days when I love you too much. There are nights when I miss you too much. I never wanted anyone to be as close to me as you. Your eyes are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. Your touch sets my body ablaze. I am yours forever. Forever is…
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I looked in the mirror and began to cry. Not ordinary tears but ones of deep sorrow. The kind that comes from generations of trauma. The ones where my ancestors break through And weep for me. A child of God. Their child. The fruit of their labor. The triumph among adversity. The culmination of centuries…
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I wish that love could save the broken ones. Like me. Like us. There’s nothing to fix. No one to save. It all ends. My strength means nothing. It can’t carry me through this time. Tragedy is too trite a word. To describe the loss of ones so beautiful. So damned. So loved. And yet…
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*Note: This post is from exactly one month ago. My dreams have been more memorable since lockdown began in March. Lately, I’ve been having the most vivid dreams. They often start off pleasant then devolve into nightmares. Two nights ago I dreamt that I was on a date with my boyfriend but we were in…
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My life has changed drastically in the past year due to illness. The pain that I’ve felt has slowly increased to the point where there are days that I can barely function. The only option at this point is surgery, or so the doctor tells me. I’m just tired of not being able to live…
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As you pulled away, it felt like a part of me was leaving with you. I’ve become too dependent on your love Or maybe not dependent enough. Panic burned my chest. My breath become shorter. I started to hyperventilate. My tears stung my eyes. My trust is beginning to waver. But my love holds on.…
Trapped In The Margins 