thoughts
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Change is in the air~ I just hope that the winds favor me.
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Heavy are the hands That hold time, for they are doomed To break from the pressure Written 12/7/16
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I’ve forgotten how it feels like to dream with my eyes closed To place my head on a pillow and slowly drift off to a palace of dreams To feel the overwhelming peace of drifting off to a time and place that’s quickly forgotten once I open my eyes I’ve forgotten how it feels to
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We haven’t spoken in a while. Yet every time we speak it’s the same conversation. I miss you. I miss you too. Are we going to meet up soon? Definitely. And then the conversation goes cold. When do we stop fooling ourselves? There’s no point in chasing phantoms, only to trip on memories.
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Old lovers crawling out of the wasteland that is my memory. They have no right occupying space in my head anymore. Exile is best suited for them. And yet, I feel a subtle twinge of sadness. Feelings never really faded, only put in stasis.
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The sudden realization that the things in my life are connected may seem asinine to most but it’s the truth. There have been certain constants in my life that have followed me from my childhood into adulthood. The only thing that has really changed is the medium in which I do things. These constants include
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Focusing on the present was never my forte. I was too preoccupied by the past or the rapidly approaching future to focus on the present. I made excuses for my past mistakes while making plans for a better future. I was stuck in this dichotomy that was absolutely maddening. I felt lost in the moment.
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Someone said to me Paper is your violin A pen is your bow
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recovery is a tricky word for me. it means that i am no longer the person that I was. isn’t this what I wanted? i don’t know who I am without my demons. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t battling something. what do I do without something to fight against? when does I
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Yesterday was the end of an era. I got my clean slate after all. I am done digging up skeletons. I will put this shovel to good use. It’s time to plant some trees and flowers. The world could use some more beauty Instead of madness.
Trapped In The Margins 
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