Trapped In The Margins

Today is January 1, 2021 and the word of the day from Merriam-Webster is reprise.

Definition:

a recurrence, renewal, or resumption of an action

The past few days of my life have felt ~different~ I owe this to the love of my life. He sat me down one day while I was spiraling and made me face the truth. I’ve been stuck in a bad place for a long time and yes, my feelings are valid. However, my feelings have unintended consequences on those that are closest to me, especially when my feelings are manifested in bad ways. I thought that how I was acting was justified because I was wronged by so many last year. I tried to remain strong for those that needed me but I was slowly digging my own grave.

I was running myself into the ground and those that loved me tried to help me. But the truth is that I wasn’t helping myself. I was patching myself up only to break a little more each time. I don’t want to do that to myself anymore. I don’t want to be running on empty. I want to stand up for myself. I want to protect myself and my energy.

So, my only goal for 2021 is that it’s not a reprise of last year. It’s all in the past but the lessons are with me forever.